Breakup over Breakfast
by Shades of Venom
Summary: Carrigan tries to break things off with Dibs...the hard way. PreCasper Oneshot.


_Breakup over Breakfast_

It was just barely dawn when Carrigan rose to greet the day. She tidily made her side of the bed, put on a comfy robe for warmth, glancing in the dresser mirror to smooth down her light blond hair. She smiled sweetly into its reflective surface then turned to make her way to the kitchen.

The small apartment was small but cozily furnished, with modern paintings and overstuffed furniture decked out in bold, rich colors. She breezed by them into the similarly decorated kitchen with shiny high tech appliances. As she flicked the switch, the eggplant colored walls greeted her. Opening the fridge revealed nothing out of the ordinary; she pulled out some eggs and milk, put on some coffee, and got to work.

With her foot tapping to her own beat, she mixed some batter and cracked the eggs into the skillet. In no time, the air was filled with the delicious scent of breakfast. A plate was heaped with eggs, bacon, and French toast and put on a tray along with a cup of coffee. The woman stared at the delectable array and frowned.

Something was missing.

She tilted her head and thought about it for a while…Then it came to her.

She rustled around in the lower cupboards, opening and closing them after she scanned their contents. Finally, she lifted up a small box with bold print:

**CAUTION: KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN. DO NOT EAT.**

Humming happily, she opened the top and sprinkled the powdery substance over the French toast, careful not to get it on her hands. She closed the lid and placed it back to its shelf. Then she doused the "meal" in syrup and daintily placed a bright daffodil in a vase on the tray. She picked it up and waltzed to his room, kicking the door open as she entered.

Her husband was still asleep, the sheets and comforting hanging off the side as he snoozed away. She carefully placed the tray down on the dresser and prodded him awake.

"Wake up darling, I made you breakfast!" She called cheerfully.

"Hmm? What?" He mumbled through the haze of sleep.

"Breakfast, _dear._"

Carrigan ripped the sheets from under him, causing him to spill haphazardly onto the floor. He let loose a string of curses, some lost in his thick British accent. He glared at her as he clawed back on the side of the bed, she beamed back at him.

"Since when are you so bloody cheerful in the morning?" He asked grumpily.

"Just wanted to do something special."

She placed the tray before him and sat down.

"Oh…thanks." He looked over the breakfast with uncertainty.

"It'll get cold, and I went through all that trouble…I thought you liked French toast Paul?"

With a puppy dog look on her face, she nudged the fork in his direction. She usually never called him by his real name, he gave her a look. With hesitation, he picked it up and used it inspect the food. He took the coffee mug, glancing inside, trying not to look suspicious. He took a cautious sip, nodding his approval.

"Good, but I would have preferred Earl Grey."

Her grin never wavered, "Whatever you want, Love." She stroked his arm, subtly moving it closer to the plate.

With one last inspection, he cut a piece of the toast and slowly lifted it…

The telephone rang.

Finally, the finely plastered smile crumbled, replaced by Carrigan's usual scowl.

"Perfect timing."

She huffed as she stood and left the room, pausing only to say "It'll only take a minute darling!" Then stormed out to answer the blaring phone.

Dibs waited to until she was out of sight, then marched to the bathroom with plate in hand. He had just scraped the food into the toilet and flushed it just as Carrigan reentered.

"It was- what are you doing?" Her gaze froze on the empty plate.

"I was just, uh, seeing if the water turns the same way…"

"No you weren't! You flushed my breakfast!"

"It was bloody poisoned!" He countered.

Her eyes narrowed, teeth clenched, and her sharply manicured nails stood out as she crossed her arms. He couldn't help but feel like a helpless zebra about ready to be pounced on by lions.

"Dibs you overreact too much, why would I kill you when I just filed for divorce?"

The stunned man looked at her, a disbelieving look on his face.

"You mean…?"

Her usually sinister grin appeared on her face.

"Yep, that was my lawyer; he's coming over with the papers."

It was as if she told him he had won the lottery. He threw himself to his knees, eyes upward.

"There is a God!" He bowed fervently.

Carrigan rolled her eyes and turned to walk away, mumbling under her breath.

"I should've let the answering machine get it…"


End file.
